Lovestruck
by pastries and turtlenecks
Summary: James Church and Chris Thomas thought they knew everything about each other.


"Chris, can I talk to you about something?"

Christopher Thomas raised an eyebrow. "Of course not. Just because we live together doesn't mean you get to _talk_ to me." He turned his attention back to the movie they had been watching, but soon cracked a smile. "Sure, man, what's up?"

James Church gave a small smile, but it was soon broken by a sigh. "Okay, so, try not to say anything until I'm done. This was pretty weird for me to figure out and interruptions will probably just make it even more confusing."

Chris nodded. "Go right ahead."

Taking a deep breath, James launched into his spiel. "So, we've been living together for a couple months now –"

"Six months," Chris cut in, before slapping a hand over his mouth and muttering a muffled apology.

James nodded. "Yeah, six months. Six months that I would have otherwise spent at my dad's house, or worse." Chris tried not to think about where James would be if he'd just packed up and left with nothing, or even if he'd stayed with his dad. "But because you offered to get this apartment with me, I'm in school, and I've got a job, and I'm busy as hell but that's okay. So I guess I wanted to thank you for that."

Chris smiled fondly. "You thank me practically every day, James, but the reminder is nice."

"Do I?" James asked, raising an eyebrow. "I guess I hadn't noticed." There were a few moments of silence before James blinked a few times and cleared his throat. "Anyway, that's not all I was trying to say."

Chris shifted on the couch. "Then go on," he prompted.

Nodding, James continued. "And we were friends on our mission, and even though we weren't really that close, you still looked out for me."

"We looked out for each other," Chris interrupted again, before making a face. "Sorry, I keep doing that."

James waved it off and kept speaking. "Now that we live together, I can say that I've never been closer to someone, ever." They shared a peaceful moment where they just smiled at each other. "You know everything about me, and that somehow puts me at ease. Usually when I would get too close with someone, I'd panic and start pushing them away. But it's different with you.

"And over the past six months, I've just felt so at _home_ in this tiny apartment with you. I used to be so afraid and angry at the world, but now I'm… Not." He winced at his lack of eloquence but continued. "It sounds corny, but I guess you've made me a better person."

Chris laughed softly. "You're right, that is corny."

Rolling his eyes, James lightly hit Chris's arm. "You know what I mean. Anyway," he continued, taking another deep breath. "You're basically one of, no, actually, _the _best thing to ever happen to me. You were my first real, true friend, and I can't thank you enough for that. And all this made me realize… Don't freak out, okay?" Chris raised an eyebrow as James took the other man's hand. There were so many ways he could say it but he decided to try and keep it simple. "I love you. I'm _in _love with you."

The smaller man was taken aback by the declaration, but his face remained neutral. "You're gay?" he asked calmly, quirking an eyebrow.

"No!" James replied quickly. He realized how defensive that sounded, so he elaborated. "I mean, I don't know. It's confusing. I've never really thought about it. I mean, I've never felt like this about anybody before, boy or girl, and I don't think I will again. It's just… You. Like, if you were a girl, it'd still be you, I guess." There was silence again, and James was desperate to fill it. "I'm sorry it's so confusing," he apologized.

Chris shook his head. "No, I understand," he said. He tentatively looked up at James. "Are you sure?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound too dumb.

"I've never been more sure of something in my life."

Chris nodded, trying to take in this new information. He remained silent, gears turning in his head. His lack of a reaction concerned James.

"So, uh, yeah. I just wanted to get that out there. I figured you deserved to know." Unsure of what to do, James awkwardly scooted down the couch, about to get up and leave. Chris, however, grabbed his hand before he could go anywhere.

Chris's eyes were still trained on his own lap, but James could feel the other man gently pulling him back to his side. "I didn't really know if there was a way to explain what I was feeling," Chris finally piped up. He gave a small smile as he looked up at James. "I thought I might have just been over complicating our friendship.. But you summed it up pretty well, I guess."

An ear-to-ear grin spread across James's face as he slid over to sit right next to Chris. Neither man was quite sure where to go from there, so James went with his gut; he leaned down and kissed him. It was chaste and brief, neither of them feeling the need to take it any further than that. There was really no need to; Chris's eyes lit up from the tiny gesture of affection.

They broke apart and pressed their foreheads together, looking one another in the eye through their lashes, matching smiles on their faces. Neither of them said anything, as words weren't really necessary. Everything was perfect the way it was.

* * *

For a while, at least.

After about a month of being together, Chris began to worry. To put it bluntly, he'd expected their relationship to become sexual by then. They were twenty-three, not fifteen, and that's what twenty-three year old couples do, right? He felt absolutely no desire to do anything, and was content with their relationship staying as it was, but the nagging thought that he wasn't giving James what he wanted was always there.

And of course, being the naïve, inexperienced young man he was, he opted to tackle the issue head-on rather than sitting down and talking about it like a sensible boyfriend would.

They had been sitting on the couch watching a movie, just as they'd been when they'd first confessed their feelings. James was leaning against the arm rest, legs up on the couch, while Chris lay sprawled over him, leaning his head against his chest. Chris closed his eyes and ignored the movie, content to just listen to the other man's heartbeat, gentle and soothing. The rhythmic beating almost made him forget what he had planned to do, so he cleared his head and put his plan into action.

He scooted up James's body so that their heads were level and kissed him softly. James smiled against his lips, relishing in the closeness, the gentleness. He paused skeptically when he felt Chris's tongue glide along the seam of his lips, but parted them anyway, feeling his heart rate speed up.

Chris slid his hand up the side of James's body before cupping his cheek, stroking his thumb over it a bit, finally tangling his fingers in the other man's blonde locks. James could feel his cheeks warming up, and was glad to see Chris had his eyes closed and wouldn't notice the embarrassing pink tint spreading over his face. Of course, he definitely heard that whimper James let out when Chris tugged at his hair.

It wasn't until Chris shifted to straddle James's midsection that things got… Weird. Both men stiffened for a moment, eyes locking in a tense silence. James finally dared to speak up, asking slowly, "W-what are you doing?"

Chris froze, not letting his brown eyes drift from James's green ones. "Is, is this okay?" he asked tentatively.

There was another moment of silence before James swallowed and spoke. "Yeah. You can keep going," he said, wrapping his arms around Chris's neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

Their tongues tangled once more, slowly probing each other's mouths, while James rubbed circles into Chris's back. Chris broke the kiss and bowed his head, slowly lapping and sucking at James's pulse point. James sighed at the sensation, but winced a bit when Chris nipped at the skin unexpectedly.

James slowly slipped his hand under the hem of Chris's shirt and ran it up his chest, tracing the faint muscle lines with light fingers. Chris felt his spine tingle at the delicate touches, and arched his back when James brushed a thumb over his nipple. The motion produced enough friction to send an unfamiliar sensation shooting to both boys' groins, and they both gasped.

Again they stared at one another, unsure of what they were doing and where to go from there. "Do… Do you want me to…?" James trailed off, gently taking hold of Chris's bony hips, flexing his own just enough to create that brief moment of friction again.

Chris screwed his eyes shut and grabbed James's shoulders to hold himself up. He couldn't form any words so he just nodded, leaning down so their chests were flush against each other.

The rest of their tentative exploration of each other continued like that. Everything seemed to move in slow motion, which wasn't exactly an inaccurate description, as both men were too nervous to take anything any faster. It wasn't exactly how either of them expected it to be, either. There was a lot of fumbling and apologies and insecurities – up until then, Chris hadn't exactly let very many people see him in his underwear, let alone without it.

There was a lot more talking than they'd anticipated, as well. Permission had to be granted for almost every touch, every lick, every suck, and even after he'd gotten the go-ahead, both of them would frequently pause to make sure the other was enjoying himself.

It felt good, they both had to agree. But it just seemed so unnecessary. It took too long and neither man felt remarkably different afterwards. The personal connection was nice, but they could think of ten other ways they could have connected off the tops of their heads easily. All in all, it just ended up being a waste of time.

"Well," James broke the silence, lying on the couch with Chris once more after they'd cleaned up and partially re-dressed.

"That was…" Chris began, scratching the back of his neck.

"Nice?"

"Yeah, that was… Nice."

There was an awkward silence shared between the two men, both silently debating whether or not to speak their mind.

"To be honest, I…"

"Yeah?" James prompted.

Chris bit his lip before completing his thought. "I'm not really, _into_ that kind of stuff."

The moment of tense silence felt like a lifetime to the smaller man; the only thought running through his mind _'Way to go, you've wrecked everything,'_ before James let out a deep breath and smiled. "Well that's a relief," he said, earning himself a confused look from Chris.

"Wait, what?"

James took Chris's hand and squeezed it gently. "Sex never really appealed to me. Not even when I was a hormonal teenager. I really only went along with it because I thought you wanted it, and I wanted to make you happy."

Chris nearly choked on his own saliva. "Seriously? I only did anything in the first place because I thought _you_ wanted it!"

James laughed and kissed the back of Chris's hand. "Let's just not assume things about each other anymore, okay?" He took the gentle kiss Chris leaned into as an agreement.

"I did learn something else about you from this, though," James continued, pressing his forehead to Chris's.

"What's that?"

"When you blush, your neck and shoulders turn red, too," James teased with a smirk. Chris pinched his arm and James let out an indignant squeak.

"Whatever," the smaller man said, feeling his cheeks warm up a bit, but refusing to let the blush spread. He snuggled against James's body and the other man wrapped his arms around his protectively. "Aren't we supposed to cuddle now, or something?"

"Any time you want," James replied with a smile.


End file.
